Why does it hurt to have sex? Part III- My Womanly Warriors

My final blog in this series, my perimenopausal and menopausal women.  Y’all have literally been through it all, and my hope is you have gained some wisdom!   

Let me tell you this, if you come to see me I will ask you what the secret is.  I am already exhausted and not perimenopausal yet . . . but I digress.

It feels like women’s lives are governed by these crazy hormones.  The crazy hormones we had during puberty, then if we had children are body’s and mind’s were not our own and changed beyond our wildest imagination.  Finally are kiddos are growing up, for some of us leaving the house and then mother nature nature is like na-ah. . . . not so fast.  Argh!

Menopause and Perimenopause can come with a wide variety of symptoms- some women are affected by some, and not others and of course the severity varies.  Depending on your medical history and preference ( note: you have a choice here) an endocrinologist may prescribe hormones to you.  Take the time to ask questions and become knowledgeable.  This field is growing and changing every day . . . . I hope it keeps developing so by the time it is my turn they will have the answer to the fountain of youth!

Refocusing:  Why does sex hurt after/ during menopause?

  • hormones: with the loss of estrogen the vaginal tissue can become frail and easily irritated, like in my mamas blog, this can be treated with estrogen or non hormonal topicals ( depending on your preference and medical history)

  • Surgical history- some of the slings and pelvic organ prolapse surgeries being done can come with side effects like pain with sex. Depending on where your sutures are and how your healing is going, some of those muscles may have tightened up/shortened. (Enter tight muscles from part I and 2- so annoying how the same themes keep coming up)

  • Constipation: one of the lovely affects of getting older is constipation, it is due to a variety of reasons but as the rectum fills up and holds more stool there is less space in the vaginal cavity for penetration

There are just a few reasons, but alas, this isn’t the end of your sex story, not unless you want it to be.  Pelvic floor physical therapy can help you have pain free sex and also enjoyable sex.  Is it a little bit more work as we get older?  Yes, absolutely- but you are tough, you have earned your stripes, and I welcome your wisdom.  

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Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy: Pleasurable Sex and Cultural Norms

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Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy: Why does it hurt to have sex? Part II- My Mamas